WISCONSIN LAKE DRAMA

(or the D and D episode)


I am responding to a great deal of urgency to relate an account of two not too-distant mariners whose fishing expedition turned out to be a comedy of errors. It is not a made up story. All of the details were related to me by one of the participants, though some descriptive elements may be added. It is a story too good to keep.


Two of my colleagues, Dale Yocum and David Mauck, and their wives were on vacation in Wisconsin. David's wife had sisters there and one of these and her husband owned a camp on a large lake. Since these two ministerial brethren had plenty of time on their hands, it was determined to go fishing. Since their host had a boat at their disposal, they sallied forth upon the waters fully intent upon bringing home not the bacon, but a stringer of fish. As far as I know, no fish were involved in this enterprise. What they did bring back was frustrated hopes and dampened garments as well as spirits.


These modern mariners motored out to the middle of the lake and began their conquest among the finny tribe, but found no takers for their offering. Still confident Dale continued his efforts, but David determined that a swim in the placid waters of the lake would be a better investment of his time. Now I know from observation and experience that his favorite pastime was floating rather than swimming. I have been with him at the sea off Negril Point at the west end of the Island of Jamaica. For long periods he could float like a piece of driftwood with no effort involved.


So before leaving their small craft, he divested himself of his garments, or at least most of them, to be as the colored preacher brother said of Peter, "he was in a state of undressed disrobement." See John 21:7. (We do not want to be indelicate or offensive here.) Now the ever scientific and mathematical mind of Dr. Yocum went into high gear; for mind you, he got his Masters degree at MIT and was well versed in things physical and mathematical. His estimated weight being about 140 pounds was approximately one half of that of his companion. So, he calculated that in order to partly counter balance the greater weight going over the other side, he should lean way out over the opposite side of the boat. The brother bent on bathing did not go out from the bow or from the stern of the boat, but over the side. Consequently, the craft tipped and shipped a great lot of water, soaking both his discarded garments and the clothing and the person of his friend.


The scientific fisherman was greatly surprised at the failure of his calculations, but not to worry! The day was balmy and he began other figures. He managed with strong cord to fix the boat oars in an upright position and then from one to the other a clothes line. So, ridding himself of the appropriate amount of his wet clothes, he placed these and those of his companion on the clothes line. He then resumed his piscatorial conquest, casting here and there for the elusive quarry. Time went on - the fishing of one, the floating of the other, and the clothes drying process.


On a sudden, the fisherman was alarmed at the sound of a motor boat rapidly approaching! Certain other persons on the lake had seen what they perceived to be distress signals flying from another craft and were hastening to the rescue. These two brothers didn't want to be rescued, not even observed. The erstwhile swimmer had merely enough time to find shelter under the other side of the boat and his partner to become more decently clad. Haste was important, for the approaching boat was full of women!


The brother in the boat made vigorous signs that they needed no help. "We're OK! Everything is all right!" It was evident that the visitors were neither wanted or welcome. The brother in the water gave full assent in his heart to the gesticulations and protestations of his companion and silently said, "Go away and leave us alone."


By and by, peace was regained and both of the seamen were fully clothed and we trust, in their right minds. Again, Dale was in the bow of the boat and casting here and there when David , without bothering to announce his decision, cranked up the motor to head for shore. The man in the bow was having great difficulty maintaining his balance while hastily reeling in his line when the boat gave a lurch. The motorman had failed to bring up the anchor. The fisherman went into the lake.


Eventually, things were righted and two unsuccessful fishermen made a safe landfall back at camp. Formerly, these two preachers had "a story to tell to the nations." Now they had an account to give to their wives, and I have the story to pass on to you.


Both of my friends are long gone to their reward and cannot rebut my account of their great day at sea, though if they could be present, could add many details lost in my telling.

As usual, all comments are welcome and appreciated. If you have any suggestions or requests, please let me know.
pastoricholland@gmail.com